Hi, I am Bhaswati

When I was in school, we had a curriculum in class IX where we had to write a letter to a penfriend. The idea of a penfriend often confused me. How can someone, whom I never met, be my friend? They don’t know anything about my upbringing, my financial status, my lifestyle, my education, my usual schedule, my hobbies, my preferences. I am an “X=unknown” for that person and vice versa.

I was always blessed with good friends in school and college, and I was more than fulfilled. Surprisingly, as I stepped over 25 years, I started feeling the need of that X at times. Not that I lacked friends, but they already knew what I would talk about; my problems, my happiness, my everyday hue and cry. But there were times when I felt, I needed someone, to whom I would be a blank page. I needed to get out of the social circle that I belonged to. I would sit and talk about things that I want to, something that might be totally stupid, useless non intellectual foolish staff, and that person would still reflect interest. I would share my darkest secret and they won’t judge me. I would share stupid jokes and laugh like a maniac and they will laugh with me… I would cry relentlessly and they will hold my hands and sit with me. Just like a diary, they will absorb my words not through the paper but through the soul. I wouldn’t be afraid that they will fall in love with me. I do believe that to be able to sit on a dark rooftop for hours with someone doesn’t necessarily demand a romantic relationship. We would enjoy the silence, no questions asked, no answers seeked. I don’t want that person to be my friend, because not being friends is the beauty of this relationship. I wouldn’t be an important part of their life, just a stranger wanting a sensible human presence. They wouldn’t know anything about my life that I didn’t share with them. And like this, we will sail…

Have you ever felt likewise? Are you in search for your X? Are you ready to be someone’s X? Let’s start the journey then…